Sigh!

Well, as you may notice from the date of my last post, extra time has been pretty sparce and my blogsite has suffered as a result. My blogsite is not the only thing that has suffered as a result of my busy schedule. It is the same old story that has probably happened to all of us at one point of another or maybe at more than one point. The hustle and bustle of life slowly edges out my walk with the Lord. I lose sight of the big picture.

I love to look at the sky. It is one of those interesting contradictions that exist within the wonderful universe created by our Lord. One day it can be a bright blue with floating white clouds, and another day it can be a turbulent array of different shades of gray. Yet regardless of the fact that the sky looks entirely different from one day to the next, it is always the same in some sense. It is always an ever present reminder of the greatness of God.

I have stopped noticing the sky. I walk beneath its awesomeness and glory each day and fail to appreciate its majesty and grandeur. Nary a glance heavenward do I cast, in my determination to get to "wherever" on time. Running from here to there, the only thing on my mind seems to be the next thing on my list. What a sad state I have found myself in. Caught up in a state of chaos that I myself have created, but have no way of saving myself from. I rush through each day without the grace and peace of the Lord that is readily available to me.

But the Lord, like the sky, is always there, ready to forgive me. His grace and mercy once again bring into focus the big picture. My life here on earth is not about getting things done, it is about serving the Lord and sharing the Gospel with those who do not know it. When I am able to view the things of this world from this eternal perspective, the peace returns.

To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy - to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, throught Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen.

I noticed the sky today.

Oreo cookies, mmm!

It has now become a nightly ritual that before I go to sleep, I first check my email and then check out everyone's blog sites to see if there are any new updates. While this activity is great fun and I love to keep in touch with everyone, I am exhausted! As we speak it is 12:20 am. I have to be up in about 5 1/2 hours. I must be crazy to be sitting here telling everyone about my state of exhaustion rather than giving it up and going to bed. But alas (that was for you Sam) here I sit, eating Oreos (hence the title of my post) and typing away. I hope you have enjoyed this profound glimpse into my life! Stay tuned, there is more where that came from.

The Count Down Begins

It is now July 5th, 2005, 38 days left until I make the big voyage overseas. I now have a departure date which has created an interesting twist in the conversations that I have about the mission trip. This is generally how they go:
Person: "Oh, your going on a mission trip!?"
Me: "Yep."
Person: "Where to?"
Me: "Macau, China."
Person: "When do you leave?"
Me: "Sometime in August...I think."

Now, I find myself with a very firm date, August 12th. And so each time I tell someone the exact date I will be leaving, I am struck with the reality that the day is closing in. With each day that passes I realize that I have one less day to laze around MY house, to sit and talk with my mother and father, and to dance and sing with my best friend. One less day to say good-bye to everyone. I know that I may be seem a bit melodramatic, I mean I am only going to be gone for a year, right? And, while on one end of the spectrum a year is such a small span of time, on the other end comes the understanding that in one second lives can be changed irrevocably.

I don't really understand why the Lord has chosen me to travel to Southeast Asia (that is about as far from Arkansas as a gal can get) in order to share the news of Christ with the people there, but I do know the Lord has a plan that is far beyond the scope of my understanding. "Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out!!" (Romans 11:33). This mission trip has definitely been a path the Lord has led me down, a path that I in no way could foresee. As I realize the enormity of the task the Lord has placed before each of us, to be the love of Christ to the world, I gain a greater clarity of how unworthy I am of such a task. Once again, I am humbled to be given the blessing of sharing Christ's love and mercy with others. Praise the Lord!!

As you may be able to discern from the above ramblings, I have very mixed emotions regarding the mission trip. I am awed and excited that the Lord would allow me to be his messenger in a foreign country. Contradictory to those emotions, I am sad that I will have to leave behind many people that I love and scared that maybe I won't be able to do this. And so as it draws closer to the time to say good-bye to everyone, I am at a loss for words. What do I say other than good-bye and I love you!?

Lord, thank you for the grace and mercy you give to each of us everyday! Please be our strength where we are weak, our courage when we are scared, the words we need to share your Gospel, and the love we need to show a dark world. Please be our life always, for we can do nothing apart from you. Amen.